Gimme back that Filet-O-Fish



Gimme back that filet-o-fish
Gimme that fish
Gimme back that filet-o-fish
Gimme that fish
What if it was you
hanging up on this wall?
If you were in that sandwich
you wouldn’t be laughing at all!

My current ad obsession!

So there was this guy see. And once upon a time he used to read a lot of comic books and watch a lot of movies and read non-fiction and then he would write about it all, so his legion of readers could live vicariously through him. Then he started reading fewer comic books and watching fewer movies and reading fewer books and more importantly writing fewer times.

Where did the time go? Some of it was spent working longer hours and weekends, some of it was spent going out to bars and meeting new people and talking to them and arguing with them. And unlike comic books and movies and books, people were a lot harder to write about. So his blog started being updated a longer and longer intervals. Some readers called him out on this. Others, their lives equally busy and their blog updates equally delayed, understood. And yet the thought of stopping his blog never occurred to him. I think it was because he was never concerned about his readership numbers (although he did check his stats counter often enough) and he wrote his blog as a record for his future self. Anyway, our story pauses there because I have to tell you about what I did.

Yesterday, with RedK and her sister B, I went to Milwaukee, specifically the Milwaukee Public Museum to watch Body Worlds. (Don't click on that link if you are easily disturbed.) Body Worlds is a traveling exhibition of preserved human cadavers in various poses, displaying various aspects of the human body. The bodies are preserved using a process called plastination. All the exhibits had the skin removed so that musculature, bones and internal organs are visible. To display the circulatory system, red dyed plastic was forced through the veins and arteries and the body then dissolved. This was definitely an excellent way to spend 25 dollars and an afternoon. We spent the rest of the evening driving around Milwaukee (pretty but boring) and watching After Innocence (depressing) and Hot Fuzz (hilarious and surprising.)

Tonight, it's time for Samba and all you can eat meat for $33.

Mind-reading machines at the supermarket

True story. I scant few weeks ago I was at the local Copps supermarket, buying me some lunchtime grub. I passed down the chip aisle and looked lovingly at the neatly stacked rows of Doritos, Lays and Pringles. Picking up two of my favorite flavors of Doritos (Spicy Nacho and Cool Ranch,) I thought passed through my mind. What if they had two flavors instead of one in the bag? It was one of those Holy-Crap-What-An-Amazing-Idea-I-Am-The-Greatest moments. In any event, I still picked up both bags and decided to mix the chips when I got to work. The day plodded on and like all my fantastic ideas, this too was forgotten about, left unused somewhere in the recesses of my mind.

Until last week. When I happened down the same aisle in the same store. On that same shelf, sitting among the other bags of Doritos was something that blew my mind to pieces and then stomped on them. It was a bag of Doritos Collisions. Doritos Collisions - 2 flavors - 1 bag - Hot Wings - Blue Cheese. Those bastards. They read my mind. It was clearly a theft of my intellectual property and I wasn't going to get paid for it. I would have to buy my own creation. I couldn't do much about it at this point except show my moral indignation by buying a bag of Jays Chips instead. And buying a roll of Reynolds aluminum foil. I've made a hat out of it and plan to wear it every time I go back to that store. They're not stealing any more of my ideas again.

Ah! A constant clamor for more posts. My time is limited and I can only do one thing at a time thanks to my condition. So what should I do - cure cancer or write a new post? Write a new post you say? Ok!

This was a lazy weekend. Friday revolved around going to the Union to celebrate Kitkat's friends H and D's birthday. This was followed by hanging out at Paul's Club, being refused entry to Frida's as I had sneakers on, hanging out with Hoofers at Crave and finally going home.

Saturday was the big badger game and also Ganesh Chaturthi. So only vegetarian food. Chinese takeout would do nicely. I also finished reading Socialism: A Very Short Introduction. Currently reading the capitalism version of the same book. Will decide what to implement in my new nation-state shortly. Saturday ended at Micheals Frozen Custard with a sundae.

Sunday began with coffee on State Street and was followed by watching the Vikings vs Lions game at Lucky's with J. Then I made baingan curry and fed Ms. Non Sequitur and J while they watched Hot Fuzz. And Ganesh visarjan.

Monday, I'm back at work.

State fair, state fair, O how I love thee!
Thy caramel apples and pink cotton candy!
Thy puff-daddy-on-a-stick and fried alligator meat!
Thy chickens and cows and giant sleeping pigs!

No seriously, that State Fair had some good food. And Ms. Non Sequitur and I ate a bit too much of it. Meeting Wendell and Big R was fun. Hope they visit Madison soon!

Yesterday was spent at Kitkat's place. Kitkat made meat-balls and fried eggplant, her hubby M made chicken curry and rice, Ms. Non Sequitur made Turkish salad, I made fried shrimp and little Ijjac made happy fun time! We watched Van Helsing. It was surprisingly TP. (TP == time pass. For my Indian-English challenged readers, it means decent.)

Later in the day, Ms. Non Sequitur and I hung out with teacher Q and arty R at State Street Brats and The Vintage. Gin and tonics FTW!

And of course, classes started today at UW-Madison. I wish I could take a class or two.

Summer is almost over. It was a good summer. Lots of sunny days and lots of parties. Fall is next and hopefully will bring with it some exercise.

We had the first game of the Fall Ultimate league and we won! Go team Magneto! (I have to think of X-Men-ny shout-outs for the team. Mutant Liberation! Down with humans!)

This evening, I drive off to Minneapolis with Ms. Non-Sequitur to meet Wendell and her hubby. And to go to the Minnesota State Fair. Cotton candy, caramel apples and corn dogs. Maybe I'll buy a cow.

And right now I'm almost falling into a food coma. I just returned after having a super meal at the Shish Cafe. You gotta go!

I'm blogging under threat here. Someone on my blog-roll (and I won't say who) threatened me with removal from their blog-roll if I didn't update my blog. So here goes, blogging under pressure.

What have I been doing?
Not exercising. I'm what you'd call skinny-fat. Thin with a gut. And the last two months or so, thanks to the gym being closed on weekends, and frisbee, my body has, shall we say, deteriorated. Luckily, classes will start at UW-Madison from Sept and with it the gym hours will go back to being normal.

What have I been reading?
I started reading The Extended Phenotype. I was in the middle of Maximum City when the library decided that someone else deserves to read it first. Hopefully, I'll get it back and find out what happens to Manoj the Crossdresser. I also realized that I have too many comic books and probably need to sell some of them. After I have read them one last time.

What have I been eating?
Too much partially hydrogenated fat. And it's not good for me. Don't eat partially hydrogenated fat people, it kills puppies.

What have I been listening to?
The College Dropout and Late Registration. Mr. West can't really rap that good but he can sure produce a nice sounding album. Drive slow.

Well, there's your post. Hopefully I won't have so much aalas next time and will update quickly enough.

Multi-parter coming up.

Part 1: Cairo, GA
I reached Tallahassee on Tuesday. The drive to Cairo took half an hour longer than expected (Damn you, bad-directions-Enterprise-car-rental) and spent most of the day working. Wednesday. Work. Thursday we went to Crystal Seafood for some much needed dead animals and I ate like a king. A very hungry king. Alligator tails. Lobster tails. Shrimp. Baked potatoes. Hushpuppies. Cheese grits. Corn-on-the-cob. A very hungry king indeed! And to top it all I spent the rest of the day at the bar of my hotel where they were having karaoke night. Small town (Pop. 9,239) bars are fun! Everyone knows everyone else. Except you! And you spend all night making new friends.

The journey back was interesting. I was on four flights! Tallahassee - Orlando, Orlando - Greenville, Greenville - Cincinnati, Cincinnati - Madison. Sadly, only on the Tallahassee - Orlando leg did I have any company in the plane - C! I got home at 10:30 in the night. Said hi to Katie who was staying over at Ms. Non Sequitur's and plopped into a deep slumber in bed.

Part 2: Six pubs. No idea how we got there.
Saturday. Me, Ms Non Sequitur, Katie - go! Stadium Bar? Church Key, Paul's Club, Piano Bar, Paradise, Madisons.

Part 3: A surfeit of Y.
Sunday was spent lazily. I got Katie and Ms. Non Sequitur hooked on Y: The Last Man. New converts to the graphic novel club! Ice cream at Micheal's for dinner!

Part 4: Bonus Monday!
It began nice and lazy with phone calls to desh. And a lot of Chuzzle. (Warning: Do not click on that last link unless you want to be horribly addicted. I dream of Chuzzles and it is not funny!)

Then it was me and Ms. Non Sequitur. Lunch at Noodles. 28 Weeks Later at the Orpheum. Half-price Margaritas at Frida's. Knocking on Cousin Qs door! (There's a story here ;) Renting Little Miss Sunshine. Becks, where Cousin Q and BF N joined us. Becks has the most awesome jukebox ever. I just walk over and there are free credits in there! I love drunk jukebox patrons!!

This is a slightly premature what-happened-on-the-weekend post.

Friday. Dinner at Maza with Little A (Maza is the new Afghan place that's opened on State Street.) Chapali kababs. Searching for Angelic. Deciding that the Great Dane is a better option. (Mmmmmmm Honey Blonde beer!) Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind.

Saturday. Breakfast at Mickey's Dairy Bar. Cricket World Cup at Union South. Ice-cream with Ms. Non-Sequitur at Union South. (Mmmmmmm Orange custard chocolate chip!) Cook-out at Uncle J's place organized by Cousin Q. Holy crap a food festival! Barbecued short farmer's market ribs. Barbecued Mexican-marinated pork. Beer and lot's of it. Tossing the frisbee. All kinds of dips and finger food including Cousin Q's looks-bland-but-has-a-kick chili dip. Made from habanero powder! More beer. Tossing the ball for the dog. Watching a looong croquet game. Barbecued chicken and veggies (including pineapple!). Brats! Sitting my the fire and identifying movies from their soundtrack. (Who knew that Baby Got Back is in the Charlie's Angels soundtrack!)

Sunday. So far, I've just got this post. I better come up with something quick!

Two funny movies that illustrate the basic differences between American and British humor.

Blades Of Glory with Will Farrell and John Heder is an over-the-top comedy about men's figure skating rivals who are forced to dance as a pair. This is typical watch, laugh and never think about again stuff. Funny but forgettable.

Hot Fuzz with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost is British cop-comedy. High-strung cop is sent to small village where he uncovers a swan and a conspiracy. This will become a cult classic or should anyway.

The good folks at Chin's have figured out how to get repeat customers. Just say nice things in fortune cookies. Last two times I've been there, my fortune cookies have read "You will become an accomplished writer." and "You are going to have a very comfortable old age." Yeah, I need to go there more often.

And in science news these two articles caught my attention Sluts and vermin and Smarter people are no better off

Everything's coming in pairs... strange.

It's 1:38 pm on a Sunday afternoon and I'm at work. There's no one else here yet. I have just finished my extra-hot habanero burrito from Qdoba. So why am I not ranting?

It's because I spent last night dancing like a junglee at the High Noon Saloon to the great sound of The Kissers! An Irish rock band and Guinness in my blood, what more do you need on St. Patrick's Day? Others to partake in the festivities were Ms. Non Sequitur, Sunny D, Laid back C, their friend StayC, and later in the night Smiley R and her husband J. I'm so sore from all the head-banging today, my neck ache has a neck ache!

The adoring public demanded it so here it is... a brand new post!

What is Hob listening to?
Interstate Love Song by The Stone Temple Pilots. If I sing at Gomeroke (Live band karaoke) this Friday (contingent on whether I get to go for it - horrible horrible work) then it's a toss up between this and You Can Leave Your Hat On by Joe Cocker. (Actually looks like they may not know either of those songs.... hmmmm... well there's always The Beatles... maybe something like Come Together or Helter Skelter?)

What is Hob touching?
His shiny freshly shaved head. Here's the deal on shaving your head:
a. Shaving the front is easy with a Gillette Mach 3, shaving the back using an extra mirror is slightly disorienting at first but you get used to it.
b. Day 1: Your scalp is like sandpaper and catches on everything!
Day 2: Your scalp is now has a slightly rough feel to it. Your sexiest looking day.
Day 3: Now there's this absolutely delightful fuzz that feels so good to run your hand through (for both the hand-runner and hand-runnee)
Day 4: Uh oh! Beginning to look like hair again! Time to shave... tomorrow!

What is Hob smelling?
a. Nivea Aftershave straight from India. This seems to be unavailable in the US and I didn't pick up any more during my visit... I wonder if Nivea makes cologne?
b. Clean fresh spring air. Holy crap Batman! I had forgotten what spring was like over here.

Who is Hob leching?
Ana Beatriz Barros as usual. And all the hot women in Madison who seem to be enjoying warmer weather by bringing on the spring fashions. I like. (That "I like" to be said like Borat.)

What is Hob tasting?
Success! And Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips! And beer, glorious beer! (St. Patrick's Day this Saturday!)

India update 4
16 - 18 Feb 2007

Let's begin with some more general vegetarian goodness. I was in the mood for spicy stuffed bell peppers (capsicum to Indian folk) and my mom indulged me! Along the way I also learned how to make them. I was planning pictures at each step but the battery on my camera gave way and needed to be recharged. Well here they are anyway , along with matki chi usal - a dry curry of moth bean sprouts, ambat varan - a sour garlicky daal, bharleli kashmiri mirchi - bell peppers stuffed with spiced chick pea flour, shrikhand - a yogurt based dessert and karela - fried bitter gourd.



What happened next was a puja (Satyanarayan puja) at our house. Of course this meant the mandatory fast before the puja - fast of course, being a relative term as you can have your fill of sabudana khichadi!



And after the puja was over there was a veritable feast served in the traditional banana leaf shaped dish (Ideally you serve in a real banana leaf but it's hard to find large clean ones these days!) Traveling clockwise in that plate we see salt, lemon, cucumber roasted peanut salad, green coconut chutney, yogurt, puran - sweetened boiled chickpea mash, fresh cashew curry - these aren't your run-off-the-mill roasted cashews, these are fresh from the fruit, soft and creamy and utterly delicious, and tragically unavailable anywhere in the US, lightly sauteed fresh okra, rice with varan dal, chapaties, and masala dudh - milk flavored with saffron, almonds, pistachios etc. etc.



I'm thinking of having another puja before I leave, just for the food...

Anyway, after that on Sunday, I had my buddies over for lunch and there was more great food. Unfortunately I didn't take any pics of the food, but I can list what was on the menu - chicken curry, dry chick pea curry, jain style potato curry, faras bean curry, an assortment of chutneys and pickles, and for dessert dudhi halva - a halva made of dudhi, an Indian gourd, shira - a halva made of semolina and ice cream!

Later that evening I went for the Roger Waters concert at the MMRDA grounds in the Bandra-Kurla complex. I didn't have any great expectations from this thing so was blown away by how good it was! The lights, the sounds, Dark Side of The Moon! He finished with Comfortably Numb! I'll post some pics later when my friend has a chance to get them off his camera phone.

We ended the night with roomali roti - a soft-as-velvet flat bread that's made by tossing it into the air (roomal is the Hindi word for a silk handkerchief), bheja fry - fried brains, chicken bhuna - roasted chicken curry and seekh kababs at Bademiya's at Colaba! Eating on the street, off the hood of your car that's been propped up by a Coke bottle (sorry Thums Up bottle) has it's own unique charm that cannot be reproduced anywhere else!

So this is going to be a giant mash-up, I'm going to try and use the EXIF information on the pictures to try and figure out what was ravenously pounced upon when... Forget it, let's forget dates, let's just say that I ate this between...

12 Feb - 15 Feb 2007

First up, some unpleasantness. The dreaded potato stir-fry. This bhaji is my mortal nemesis but dad and bro love it, so it gets made anyway. Needless to say I took a picture of it the kadhai, but it never got on my plate. (That's a lie, I did eat some with rice. It tastes nice but it's generally too dry for my palate. I like juicier things!)



Here's a random picture of a street vendor taken from my terrace. Look at the fresh vegetables that we'll never buy! (You don't buy from the vendor in front of your house unless you're lazy. Like a good little Indian you go to the market and bargain with all the vendors there...) The black stuff in the basket on the right is grapes. And there's tea (I think) in the aluminum container.



Here's our carrom board. My dad's a champ but I beat him sometimes...



Here's something I like! It's curried scrambled eggs with green peppers (or capsicums as we call them here!) Along with are some fresh fulka chapaties!



Next up, liver curry! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! This contains all kinds of offal like liver, heart, kidneys! Very incredibly tasty! And it's being served with jwarichi bhakri - a special flat bread that's exclusive to my state. Nutty, salty, with a texture that's unlike any you've ever had! My mouth exploded when I had this!



And now for something which is exclusive I think only to my village, possibly only to my extended family! The Maharashtrian version of breakfast cereal - chaha-pohe! Chaha is tea and pohe is flattened cooked rice! Dunk pohe into a saucerful of hot tea and scoop up spoonful after delicious spoonful. Caffeine and vitamins in the same dish!!



My mom asked me what she should make for dinner.
I said "Sabudana vada!"
"What? That's just a snack!"
"Not if I have a dozen or two!!!"
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, last night I had two dozen hot off the frying pan sabudana vadas with green chutney and Maggi sauce!
And to the uninitiated, sabudana is well explained in Wikipedia, vada simply means fritter. Sabudana, potatoes, peanuts and chillies! I am going to make this when I get back to Madison!



And finally to finish off on a sweet note, here's pictures of two of my favorite desserts - on the left, malai sandwiches (Imagine two flattened rasgullas with sweet heavy cream in the middle!) and on the right, halvasan (I'll need to research more and find out exactly what this contains, suffice is to say that it's delicious!)

India update day 2 - 11 Feb 2007

I slept for almost 12 hours. That was probably the last of the jet-lag!

After waking and playing zombie for about 10 minutes, the smell of hot dosas drew me to the kitchen. My maid Sujata was making dosas. I pigged out and had 5! And 2 idlis! All accompanied by the special green chutney that accompanies dosas.



And it's just 11 am. I'll update this again at the end of the day. I smell a feast coming on! I'm off to watch the India - Sri Lanka one day match!

And here we are at the end of the day! I had mutton curry for lunch. Delicious! And mutton curry, bheja fry (fried brains) and gaboli for dinner. Followed by rasgullas for dessert! I'm in culinary heaven right now.



And as an added bonus, here's pics of some Narayandas laddus that my mom made.

India update day 1 - 10 Feb 2007

I got home 1:30 am on the 10th and ate kheema-pau after getting home. Kheema is minced goat meat which is usually curried. Pau is simply bread. Here's a pic!



As I hadn't slept at all on the Amsterdam-Mumbai leg (I watched Little Miss Sunshine - awesome!! and Walk The Line - also awesome! and one episode of the Office - always great,) I beat the jet-lag pretty well and got a couple hours sleep in.

Waking up, I had more kheema-pau. Then my mom pop's the surprise on me! She had frozen Alphonso mangoes and Mahabaleshwar strawberries since summer! Whoa! Here's pics of the mangoes and strawberries thawing out. As you can see they lost firmness in the freeze-thaw process, so we decided to convert them to aamras (mango juice) and strawberry milkshake instead.



For lunch we had palak paneer (green spinach curry with cottage cheese) and valacha birda (curried brown bean sprouts) with fulka chapatis fresh of the griddle!! (In my gluttonfest I forgot to take pics.)

Yum yum!

As soon as my jet-lag leaves me, I'll step out. Update for day 2 is next!

There's this Pakistani restaurant on Monroe Street called Campus Biryani and Kabab. It opened a little more than a year ago. The owner serves excellent chicken and mutton biryani, chicken haleem,and mutton chapli kabab. Also available is the ubiquitous chicken tandoori and mango lassi. And this weekend after much goading from me and his other regular clientele he served falooda.

Highly recommended if you hanker for authentic Indian/Pakistani food and are sick of the homogenized crap available in pretty much every other "Indian" restaurant in the US.

It's a Saturday afternoon. I've been awake for just two hours. It's the first warm, sunny and generally beautiful day we've had in months. It's the harbinger of another gorgeous summer. The Coldplay (Parachutes) CD that I have waited for, for almost two weeks now, has just arrived in the mail along with a Valentine's Day card from my parents. I've just had two blueberry waffles and a glass of cold apple juice for breakfast.

Nothing has annoyed me yet. Nothing will be able to for while now. I'm feeling too good for that.

Life is good.

Yesterday, I ate bite sized pretzels with a pizza flavored filling.

It's during thrilling moments like these that I begin to realize the grandeur of human civilization. Dinosaurs ruled the earth for millions of years, flying and leaping and tearing each other down. All they achieved was a hit movie with unknown actors and great special effects that spawned some boring sequels. Humans have been around a fraction of that time and just look at us. We invented nuclear fusion devices, lobotomy, the 80's and pizza. And then one pioneering inventor outdid himself and decided to invent, (Tada! Drumroll!) pizza flavored filling! This blog entry is my humble tribute to him.

And right about now this blog should be dying a natural death, what with all the indifference that it's had to live with. But for some reason, it refuses to die. Mighty nice of it though, as I got something to discuss.

Let's do some food analysis here. First some definitions. Convergent evolution is an evolutionary process in which organisms not closely related independently acquire some characteristic or characteristics in common. This usually reflects similar responses to similar environmental conditions. (Quoting directly from the excellent wikipedia.org). Can this also work out for cuisines? Specifically Indian and Mexican cuisine. Both are spicy enough. Mexican food has the flat breads. The rice and spicy sauces. So what gives? Convergent evolution? Hah! Mexico been secretly spying on India. All these years! And of course Korea had been doing the same to the Konkan coast. Lots of seafood and lots of spice!

Ah! So nice to get that of my back. Now I guess I'll go back to my attempt to murder this blog.